Limericks & poems for athletics

[d pickup]

final Post-Barcelona creations

One Barcelona Pic
Determination, yes she has
and only gold will satisfy
with mouth as big as A-cup breasts
she shouts her way to victory.

###

more Post-Barcelona creations & prose summations

Lots of 2nd round glory

It only takes one jump, one throw,
and that is true as some did show
(tough, high jumpers, users of poles
several goes, and fail - and pit rolls)

Was so for German Reif
round 3 gave his field grief.

Now GBR's Idowu
led from round 1, then grew, and grew, consolidated, and GREW.

With Belarusian Mikhnevich
in round 2 the necessary safety stitch.

Pole Malachowski
won by round 2 from rivals of many countries but this time there was no Russki.

Charfreitag
like territory-marking tree-side urinating stags he, in round 2, soon left his tag.

With Norway's Thorkildsen
he led throughout, his best in round 2, so soon killed the scene.

Latvia's Radevica
on this day, from round 2, was aeronautica.

Ukraine's Saladuha
from round 2 never headed, then better, and caused amongst the rest I guess an unhappy hoo-ha.

Belarus's Ostapchuk
had BLR back up in 2nd and 4th, was never headed from round 1, and would say to her partner how was that chuck!

Born '90 Croatian Perkovic
from 1st round 3rd to 1st in the 6th round, for this much the youngest in the field, young Slavic.

German Heidler
with 4 good throws, a SB, never headed after round 2, she no idler.

German Stahl
from 5th to a new 2-year-old PB in round 5, so the top crystal.

M LJ Reif X 7.87 8.47 (PB) - - 8.00 ...... 2: 8.24 (rd 6)
M TJ Idowu 17.46, 17.47, 17.40, 17.81 (PB), X, - ... 2: 17.51(rd 5)
M SP Mikhnevich 20.49, 21.01 job done, just ... 2: 21.00 (rd 4)
M DT Malachowski 65.84, 68.87 (CR) job done, just ... 2: 68.47 (rd 3)
M HT Charfreitag 75.50, 80.02, job done ... 2: 79.12 (rd 6)
M JT Thorkildsen 86.32, 88.37 job done ... 2: 87.81 (PB) (rd 2)
W LJ Radevica 6.73, 6.87 (PB, prev 6.80 '05; prev SP 6.76), 6.79, 6.92 (PB, NR by 1cm), X, X ... 2: 6.92 (rd 4, + 6.68)
W TJ Saladuha X 14.62, 14.80, X, 14.81, 14.71, a class above the rest ... 2: 14.56 (rd 1)
W SP Ostapchuk 19.67 X, X, 20.43, X, 20.48, the rest well off ... 2: 19.53 (rd 6)
W DT Perkovic 62.98 (2), 60.94, 55.04, 60.95, 62.43, 64.67 (1), always 1 or 2 ... 2: 63.48 (rd 1)
W HT Heidler 69.68 (3), 75.92 (1), X, 72.58, 76.38, 72.27 ... 2: 75.65 (rd 4)
W JT Stahl 60.36, 57.31, 63.17, X, 66.81 (PB), 64.13; prev SB 62.65; prev PB 66.06 '08 ... 65.58 (rd 5)

HJ & PV
Shustov 9 jumps to win incl 3 failures
had the better of Ukhov

Lavillenie 6 jumps to win incl 1 failure
trying for a PB didn't go so well this time for this pv genie.

Vlasic 10 jumps to win incl 3 failures
not from her this time a classic.

Feofanova 5 jumps to win incl 1 failure
it was soon over.

dp fri 27aug10

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RIETI 2010

It's many times Rieti's been attacked
invaded by the Romans, Franks and more
The Saracens, and then Sicilian foes
But now, today, it greets invading ones
from Africa, Australia, the States
from Europe East to West & from the East
and Carribeans keen to win the sprints
They're athletes, it's their 40th visit here
this small town holds a very special Meet
World Records broken time and time again
So what might be a special treat this time?
Rushida in the 2-laps pleased last year
he might again, what talent he does have;
And other Kenyans want to run PBs
And hurdler Oliver, he's record keen.

dp sun 29aug10

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SPLIT 5 september 2010
to BV

split legs to run
split legs to lift
split X & O by 2.05
split mouth to shout
split arms-wide clap
split field .10
Oh Split rejoice.

dp 6sep10

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Delhi disaffirms dengue, deluge, dishonest, doubts

Oh! Delhi! floods, corruptions, plagues, hit hard
you say your ceremonies great! ace card!
your PM, Manmohan Singh checks things out
I guess he thinks he's got effective clout.

dp 10sep10

[d pickup]

Natalia Dobrynska
will go far
being serious, with patience
so watch her in Talence. *
* Decaster IAAF World Combined Events Challenge, 18-19sep10

dp 14sep10

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Delhi
paid each contractor fee
but came the Games time
Voila, masses of grime.

This city by the River Yamuna
affected by monsoons yes, not the luna
delays re the Games
from the wet, not fires flames
but deep trouble they'll need more than a crooner.

Delhi's bad monsoons
sod's law, the year of the Games
dengue poised to pounce.

River Yamuna
generous with her water;
please, please, please, not now.

Let's build a village
they're going for the record
for bad workmanship.

that's a lovely bridge
a short cut from the car park
quick the hospital.

I dreamed: my own room,
bathroom, terrace, courtyard view;
I need yellow gloves.

I need a plumber
electrician, plasterer
and a large waste bin.

dp 24sep10

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Delhi

I know you're great
and at the rate
you reconstruct
clear each cig butt
then I'll soak up
and fill my cup
your glories there
historic, fair
Temples to face
the Connaught Place
and sacred tombs
what splendid rooms
the India Gate
I just can't wait
won't miss this chance
to see some dance
the Indian way
charming they say.
Another way
'Yes' to this fray.

dp 24sep10

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I know it's cycling but we disapprove of athletics druggies too:

Alberto 'alphabet reactions' Contador 'druggie' Velasco
goodbye, good riddance, ciao
enough of your verbo
accused, immediately blurting out, you crow
pronto give back that Tour win dough
riding you deserve a push, the elbow
you're no mate, others now your foe
take a bike ride, go on, go
French food not good enough ho, ho, ho
the lab got it wrong, the lab test ratio
don't pull that trick majo *
you say it's not real just a TKO
without drugs you'll be 'poor Albero' slow
find an excuse from girl friend Macareno
we do not believe you, no, no, no
contamination, infection, uncleanness, impurity, oh, oh, oh
an't the first time '06 doping case Operacion Puerto
response: quid pro quo **
you're certainly not our hero
your press conference a fabrication, you so 'n so
'Yes Alberto, pull the other one, the other toe
boo boo boo
you've got a bloody nervo
want to ride the Tour again? X
no way boyo
your excuse's score: zero

* majo: Spanish dandy of the lower classes
** TKO: technical knock out
** quid pro quo: something for something

dp 1oct10

[d pickup]

Delhi is a capital, large
p'haps had some gain from the British Raj
but some now corrupt
they take their cut
Beware their constructions, take a barge.

Poor Delhi had a big monsoon
so masses of floods so very soon
emerge mosquitoes
net bodies,fingers,toes
be careful when out round the toon *
* town (Geordie)

dp 4oct10

DELHI EVENTUAL REPRIEVE

so what do you want now Dehli
70 nations? - a melee

you've already fought a monsoon
the Games are coming very soon

no help from River Yamuna
7th October: new luna

in future times kill corruption
cope now with their interruption

no smooth deals, the architecture
no good too my finger lecture

and that non-friend the mosquito
a net for him, not mistletoe

Surprise now there's fear re dengue
in fact there's lots, oh such frenzy

And what a state, observe my room
for me it's gloom, where is my broom

and outside look at my garden
rain, then sun, on clay, then harden

it's so nice to have a courtyard
but ours a mix dust-yard, boatyard

do you think we'll use our bathrooms
well no, but there grow some mushrooms

and you want me to use the shower
my golden shower; please fresh-smell flower

I'll go elsewhere for a toilet
flush away? no! fluid inlet

Sleeping time that bed! that matress!
the dog; that tree, there I'll sleep, dress

the floor has a gaping big hole
not a snag, I'll vault with my pole

Now here outside these walls with mould
you say: 'a lovely colour gold!'

These air conditioning units!
I'm forming petition units

Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish, rubbish
with film and pics we'll all this publish.

PS accommodations great
the food I'd give a 5* rate.

dp 5oct10

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Suresh Kalmadi
besides MP for Pune
a calamity.

there was this fine athletics stadium
had its helium and many a podium
so where are the spectators
athletes there fine movement creators
'love sport', '& watching it', but ignore this potential Elysium.

The athletics starts on day 4
but the track needs attention lots, and more
so bring in fresh grass
make sure you've your pass
work through the night, that's right, it's one big chore.

It's 'beyond anything I imagined' this track
one reaction 'put the organiser on the rack'
it's merited this flack
he's been very slack
cost red not black, and give him the sack.

There was this bug called Delhi belli
followed the monsoons, where you needed your welli
so watch the waters
in your quarters
and here's a warning, don't visit the local deli.

The Delhi belli
strikes the swimming English girls
today's a new Moon.
dp 7oct10

[d pickup]

DELHI DRUGGIES

Methylhexaneamine
making each cheat a has been
including Oludamola Osayemi
your way is seamy
and Samuel Okon
well, you're no ikon

dp 12oct10

[d pickup]

Andy Baddeley, 82, has had, and is having, a long distinguished running career, but things have plateaued in the last 4 seasons and his tactics have driven followers mad with frustration and angry words, and he even labelled his 6th place CG 2010 Delhi 1.5k final effort with the comment 'I ran like an idiot'. A brain for a Cambridge Uni double first Master degree in engineering but a brain on the track, it would appear to onlookers, of a novice runner.

1996 ---- 98 ------ 99 ------ 00 ------- 01 ------ 02 ------ 03 ------- 04 ------ 05 ------ 06 ------ 07 ------ 08 ------ 09 ------ 10
4:18.1, 4:01.5, 3:52.79, 3:46.36, 3:52.15, 3:45.96, 3:45.87, 3:39.11, 3:36.43, 3:36.52, 3:34.74, 3:34.36, 3:35.07, 3:34.50

Sixth in the CG 1.5k men’s final in New Delhi on 12 October 2010
Andy Baddeley
‘I ran like an idiot’
Yes, he ran badly.

Andrew James Baddeley
in Delhi ran badly
‘I ran like an idiot’ he said - yes it was clear
and he’s got a Cambridge Uni Masters double first, he’s an Engineer.

dp 13oct10

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Mark Lewis-Francis
surprised all: silver, silver
even relay gold!

Turner, Sharman, Clarke & Co
had no cause for big woe
gold, silver bronze, 1st, 2nd, 3rd
with Turner adding to his Barcelona golden bird

David Greene
with his feats has hit the screen
but with fellow hurdler Williams from Wales
there’s some argument tales

Gregory Rutherford
with 8.22 silver in Delhi hit the right chord
like fellow jumper Chris Tomlinson
with 8.23 bronze in Barcelona, another happy person

Ms Katherine Endicott
where was her spot
4th past the tape
one false start escape
so up to 3rd
one found on drug spree
so up to two
[1st of past drug crew]
A PB time
her season’s prime
then relay time
there golden the chime

Stephanie Twell
still young, ran well
but for future gold
she’ll have to be bold

Laura Turner
in small Geneva Meet did a burner
but in Delhi was too fast
false start, but back in, ran, came last

Kate Dennison
her chance came and is gone
looked set for gold
but the vaulting went wrong, the flex and unfold

Grace Clements
wanted to clear one fence
a ‘not come last’ wish
instead the podium, and a medal for her trophy dish

Louise Hazel
in Delhi 5 times rang her bell
with PBs galore
so gold, but she and we expect more

dp 18oct10

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DELHI 2010 SONNET!

We've cleaned the flats, the gardens, streets
you saw in sportshalls many treats
in early days such empty seats
but later none, and noisy feats
by crowds that were a deafening lot
the atmosphere exciting, hot
especially on the last track day
our girls, surprise, gold, long relay.
We saw a dog, some snakes, take care
a vulture liked some bobbing hair
hiccups there were, but were resolved
as best we could, wrapped up and solved
so we got by, no major faults;
improved too, the list of results!

dp 19oct10

[d pickup]

Homo sapiens v Neanderthal

Against a cheetah, antelope or horse
a wildebeest, a lion or slight gazelle
an elk, coyote, gray fox, zebra too
hyena, cape hunting dog, lethal packs
of course greyhound, the rabbit, jackal, deer
and others: reindeer, giraffe and warthog
the grizzly bear, a cat - you have no chance!
Oh Homo sapiens, led by fast-boy Bolt
they'd run you down if it were their strong wish
but there is one that you would better pace
Neanderthal, their heel bones oh how long
them good for forests, while us for the plains.
We did survive, the tundra runs for us
not so Neanderthal - your Achilles.*
* see www.newscientist.com/article/mg20927984 ... -race.html

dp 4feb11

[d pickup]

HOLLY BLEASEDALE *

They want a nickname for this vaulter named Holly
so one thinks we could call her Holly-Dolly
her surname Bleasedale
and that rhymes with fail
oh no, no, 'water ice on a stick', we offer 'Ice-lolly'.

Holly's coach Julien Raffalli-Ebezant
up in the north so his name rhymes with grant
well his athletes do well
in Champs they excel
and Holly, in the pole vault, needs a good plant.

Holly Bleasedale, b.'91, Blackburn Lancs, GBR NR (U23) PV 4.50m '11 (twice)

dp 23feb11

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PULL ME MOTHER EARTH

‘In a poem the excitement has to maintain itself. I am governed by the pull of the sentence as the pull of a fabric is governed by gravity’ Marianne Moore, poet, USA, 1887-1972

The rocket men
how they bewail
the pull of gravity
and jumpers, vaulters
fight each flight
that pull of gravity
(go live on Phobos
Mars’s little rock
a Grunt* you’d fly so high)
while racing walkers
what would they do
a bit of earthly glue
for it’s the rule
they must stay touched
or red cards soon appear.

2 mph, even 4 perhaps
the pace for non-race us
but racing types
can reach to 10:
what length of stride
what mobile hips
what aiding arms
what tempo rate!
But caution’s there,
through this hectic pace,
retaining, holding earth,
and all the time
too, of their race;
20k and 50k;
what focus to the end.
* Fobos-Grunt, RUS craft going to Phobos c.2012

dp 28feb11

[d pickup]

Competition result: Poetic inspiration at the OLY '12 athlete's village:

inscribed along a wall at the entrance to the athletes' village:

Tennyson's Ulysses (last line): "To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield."

Runners-up will also have their verse inscribed around the site:

Robert Browning's "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp/ Or what's a heaven for?"
Langston Hughes's "First in the heart is the dream/ Then the mind starts seeking a way"
Denise Levertov's "And what I heard was my whole self/ Saying and singing what it knew: I can"
Sean O'Brien "To change the world by mastering a game"

see
www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2011/mar/04/te ... c-athletes

[d pickup]

BRETT MORSE LIMERICK

An indoor record, with discus, Brett Morse
We hope he’s now on a Championship course
also the outdoor record
over this all’s in accord
but doing it, another thing, technical details would need a discourse.

dp 14mar11

Brett Morse, b. 11feb89
PB DT out 63.35 ‘10 (GBR NR: 66,64m Perris Wilkins ‘98)
PB DT in 60.99 12mar11 UK NR, beating his own NR 60.14, 27mar10

[d pickup]

There was this man named Mark Block
a 10-year ban after being ‘in the dock’
wife Zhanna a beaut
tilts her head, it’s cute
but his business, her running, the sport they did mock. *
* allegedly

dp 23mar11

[d pickup]

Mo Farah ran a ½ marathon very fast *
beat every British time of the distance from the past
now summer time comes
so he has track runs
more records, more wins, his talent’s vast.
* 1.00.23, 20mar11, NY USA

dp 24mar11

[d pickup]

DWAIN CHAMBERS *
Oh Dwain Oh Dwain Oh Dwain
it is becoming plain
you're becoming a pain.
With drugs you did gain
what went through your brain!
but it was in vain
you caught in the chain
the drug test train
2-years thus was the ordain
in no-compete that the terrain
so now what a stain
and also a strain

Yes some ask: what bargain?
will treat you with disdain
that you would out remain
but you: fully in the fold again
and so to obtain
access to the main
main event athletes attain
the Olympic domain
but some would you rechain
that is, your ban sustain
til from you life does drain
for ever Dwain, for ever Dwain.

* for the big, big, big, big read on Dwain Chambers
see 'Chambers does not rule out London 2012' in 'current events'
www.athleticsweekly.com/messageboard/vi ... 04&start=0

dp 25mar11

[d pickup]

HOW TO BUY YOUR OLYMPIC TICKETS

Ticket promotor girl Ms Hart
the '12 Olympics, she's a part!
though really re sports, she's apart
but there let's look, for she's there smart
just 2 26; let her start
so now big sell, she has the art
exciting, exciting her impart
'I don't even know what that is' cave-art *
no, wrong, let me just here restart
handball-puzzle for this upstart
so where to place her on the chart?
* handball

dp 26mar11

###

THE 3-LANGUAGE TICKET SALES GIRL

There was this comedienne called Miranda
who came to my place, sat on the veranda
'well hello to You!'
'well if you're through?
go play handball, or de-scarf, or pyjama-rest up my garden jacaranda.' *
* tropical American tree

dp 26mar11

(listen perhaps, or not, to Miranda Hart, for 2m26s, re OLY tickets:
www.athleticsweekly.com/videos/a-guide- ... -olympics/)

[d pickup]

POSTER GIRL

Jessica Ennis is the Olympic poster girl
but that bright spotlight has put her in a whirl
she needs to train
and HEP points gain
it's the training, psycho prep, not all this swirl & twirl.

dp 27mar11

[d pickup]

'Chambers Does Not Rule Out London 2012'

There was this ex-druggie sprinter named Dwain
upon who masses & massses of wrath did rain
his Olympic aspiration
caused much consternation
others 'no compassion?', back & forth, again and again and again.

###

Dwain 'GB' Chambers
aims for an Olympic place;
laurel wreaths & drugs!

###

Dwain Anthony Chambers
regrets, apologies that he attended the Drug Chambers
for Tetrahydrogestrinone *
now wants an Olympic jab; he should have known.
* THG

dp 28mar11

[d pickup]

IMANE MERGA *

Imane Merga
has been around
there and abouts
for 5 years now
but in Punta Umbria
12km cross country
6 clipped-grass laps
him pushing laps 5 & 6
3 Kenyans clinging on
then, voila! the sprint
he trounced them all
and thus supreme
World Champion.

*ETH, '88, 1.72m, 55kg, from Tulu boro (either 70km N or 70km SW of capital Addis Ababa; both 2-3.5km alt)
PBs (tr)
3k 7:51.24 '09
5k 12:53.58 '10
10k 27:15.94 '09

dp 29mar11

VIVIAN JEPKEMOI CHERUIYOT *

Vivian Cheruiyot
is she not a mere dot!0
so light in weight
and those rolling shoulders
along with wrapped-close arms
but how her legs can fly
and how her heart & lungs
can serve her in severity
of running, ever running
round track and country scenes
and there was gold when young
and now in older years
there's gold, gold, gold.

* KEN, '83, 1.55m, 38kg, born Keiyo district, W central Kenya, 2km+ alt
'00 World (JUN) X-country champ
'09 World 5k champ
'10 CG 5k champ
'11 World X-country champ
PBs
3k 8.28.66 '07
5k 14 22 51 '07 NR, 3rd world all-time list
10k rd 31 07 '10

dp 29mar11

[sikander]

Here or there hundreds of them, phantom-like,
bobbing in place at street corners, then
lifting their knees suddenly and leaping
into the densest, loudest traffic
(of briefest trajectories, of shortest views),
in transit yet at ease, breathing, loping,
like bearers of distance and pure direction,
darting half naked out of nowhere and
where, where in the world are they running to?
swift and solitary, silent beings
who, should you now step into the path,
have dodged away, or, if you raise a hand
to stay them to speak, immediately
are gone: who are these runners who create
in their gliding such fine, singular spaces
among the street’s vociferous jargons?
—as if each one were a still, wordless message
or question one would answer if one could grasp it,
this one, that one, sliding past, going away,
while you stand there, your hand raised to no purpose,
your hidden heart rejoicing that the quick heel
won’t soon, won’t ever, be overtaken,
although you, as you have longed to, suddenly
disburden yourself and follow follow.

[d pickup]

LONDON MAN 17 APRIL 2011

There was this man Emmanuel Mutai *
in this race when the time came, no more delay
he surged, upped the pace
the courage to win the race
'world record possible ...', no but course record, it his V-day.
dp 19apr11

There was this marathon man Emmanuel Mutai
in this race thought it's time to be away
he put in 2 fast miles
that wiped any smiles
of his rivals, them left behind, so pocketed the big pay.
dp 19apr11

Mutai
what a London marathon performance ay
keeping all rivals at bay
oh what a course, oh what a day
the cheering crowds, the clapping crowds, appreciative & gay
sunny, surely be inspired, make hay
but still so far so no antics like a jay
yes utter-concentration ok
for to lapse may, just may
take one from victory to less, nay
to be forgotten, certainly of the good pay
so go for the tape like a laser ray
that's what I say
for that's the best way, and today too your way.
dp 19apr11

42 KILOMETERS
so far
on one's own feet
just 2 feet
over 20,000 strides
no stops
but at first
be relaxed
no rushing

1/2-way, 3/4-way
rivals still there
all pausing, waiting
for the surge, to surge
for the break, to break
calling on courage, but
to surge, then body break
one's frame give in

then somebody does
and opens a gap
it so quickly
or by stretching, stretching, stretching
and then: break
break away
and then: one haven
the tape

hang in
don't look back
hang in
a peer might surge
hang in for
the glory
dig deep
that tape
* Mutai Emmanuel Kipchirchir KEN, '84, tall, slim, from Tulwet nr Kericho, SW KEN, 207km WNW of Nairobi, tea growing area
PBs
10,000 28:09.2 Eldoret 03/06/2005
10 Km 27:51 Marseille 01/05/2006
15 Km 42:11 Lisboa 21/03/2010
20 Km 56:44 Lisboa 21/03/2010
HM 1:00:03 Lisboa 21/03/2010
25 Km 1:14:03 Chicago, IL 12/10/2008
30 Km 1:28:30 London 13/04/2008
Mara 2:06:15 London 13/04/2008 PB NOW 2.04.40 '11 PB, world's 4th best ever
2nd MAR World Champs '09
1st MAR Amsterdam '07 2.06.29 PB
dp 19apr11

[d pickup]

LONDON LADY 17 APRIL 2011

There was this lady distance runner named Mary *
who was improving leaps and bounds all should be wary
1/2-marathon in the bag
but she won't brag
and the whole one, just watch, she could be real scary.
* Mary Jepkosgei Keitany, '82, from Kisok nr Kabarnet, Kenya, 230km NW of Nairobi
PBs
5000 16:29.4 Nairobi 29/06/2006
10,000 32:18.07 Utrecht 17/05/2007
10 Km 30:45 Ras Al Khaimah 18/02/2011
15 Km 46:40 Ras Al Khaimah 18/02/2011
20 Km 1:02:36 Ras Al Khaimah 18/02/2011
HM 1:05:50 Ras Al Khaimah 18/02/2011
25 Km 1:19:53 Berlin 09/05/2010
Mar 2:29:01 NY 07/11/2010, PB, NOW 2:19:19 17/04/11 PB, world's 4= best ever
1st World Champs HM '09

dp 20apr11

[d pickup]

sikander

I enjoyed your poetic contribution of Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:33 pm

Is another poem in in the pipeline perhaps? How about one on David Rudisha, who I see you 'esteem', if that's the word to use - as do a few of us. He's said he'll top the '10 times, but will he?

Many pole vaulters & high jumpers for instance get plenty of WRs in their events, but in the 800?

In the last 100 years of the event 21 athletes have held the WR. Only Eastman had more than a single claim on the WR from 1912 for the following 50 years to 1962, with 2 WRs. However since then Wohlhunter (2), Juantorena (2) Coe (2) and Kipketer (3) have joined him. Perhaps DR will add to his 2 of 2010.