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Limericks & poems for athletics

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Limericks & poems for athletics

Postby d pickup » Wed Oct 14, 2009 11:53 am

[b]Middle distance allure[/b]

For some the lure of sport is cricket games
while others football with its chess array
not for me, instead I’ve a taste, clear cut
the running race, who’ll break it first, that tape.

The stadium’s centre features jumps and throws
and on the track, or road, they run and walk
special is ‘fastest human in the world’
and what demands that lengthy marathon.

My special taste, the middle distance runs
for’s like a play there’s start, middle, and end;
not blink-short miss, or oh so on-on long.
The cast is met, let drama now unfold.

Your race it is, the final, toe the line
now how each body fibre feels fatigue
but push that right away, your nerves are fired
and fired it has, the gun, you’re off at last.

How fast at first? Too fast, implodes the frame;
lag too far back and you the leaders lose.
The middle part there’s hazards in the pack
the tripping heels, the pushes, elbows sharp.

So near the end, when, where and how to burst?
to seek the tape, to break it first, to win.
Have you the strength, the pace, have you the mind
to show your hand and hold on to the end?

Delay, perhaps your rivals box you in,
though luck, a gap appears you spurt right through.
Delay, then chase, but it’s too late sometimes
a rival’s timing right, they have the day.

So there’s a skill to find the whereabouts
not boxed, not back, but poised, attack, when right.
You wait, and wait, oh how your heart will pound
‘til you do know, you know for very sure

to strike, to give your all, the moment’s now!
so go, go, go, for glory, glory calls.
That tape, you’ve vanquished all, the gold is yours.
Re-energised the lap of honour’s light.
d pickup 05oct09

[b]Berlin high jump[/b]

they’re tall, slim
they clear doors
anatomical pressure
psychological too
fail, fail, fail, out
so psych things up
use the crowd
get rhythmic lift
you clap, they clap
100,000 hands.
2 going for gold
A Croatian first
her hands up high
she claps, all clap
her focus time
and then her run
an arching run
an arching flight
success this time
she punches the sky
Now Germany
she’s on her mark
her run up mark
at first there’s cheers
and then her sign
her right hand used
just to her lips
forefinger point
a sign for quiet
so silence gained
the stadium’s still
she runs, she jumps
the bar she knocks
it rattles down;
her sighing bow
to all that sigh
a bow of thanks
tho’ no avail.
d pickup 23aug09

This man was a sprinter runs very fast
the cadence the stride, all looked on aghast
I’m talking of Bolt
still really a colt
but all agree, experts, general public, he’s unsurpassed.
d pickup 13oct09

More to follow.
D Pickup
14 oct 09
d pickup
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Postby Patriot » Wed Oct 14, 2009 1:22 pm

There was a young man named Caster
Who suddenly ran a lot faster
When one day he heard
He could run as a burd
If he strapped down his co*k with a plaster.

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Postby d pickup » Wed Oct 14, 2009 2:42 pm

Thank you Patriot

There was this young man good with alabaster
while in his free time he ran fast, was the master
he thought to use a drug
came in liquid form glug-glug
won a race, was tested, for this man of plaster a disaster

This running Champion he was a real blaster
worked in a foundry a metal caster
ran his sprints with ease
did the crowds please
played the joker, and in his spare time a webmaster

The shortest race might depend on the start
the quick reflexes, you with the gun being smart
in a half-lap there’s time
a poor start’s not a crime
and in the straight, not tying up, one moves ahead and apart

d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:49 am

400 (1)
This runner never did race more than one lap
in competitions wore sun glasses and a cap
was the master of coast
but of that didn’t boast
his final prep, before a race, was to take a nap

400 (2)
This runner was ready the stadium to tour
his event's very lactic he hoped he'd endure
his style was upright
a really strange sight
but record, world, his, now an entrepreneur
d pickup 31oct09
d pickup
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Postby Anthony Treacher » Sat Oct 31, 2009 2:23 pm

Patriot, yours was very good indeed but that "co*k" was out of order.
d_pickup, if those are really yours, you are a genius and I wish to join your fan club.

However to ensure its survival, perhaps this thread should be moved entirely to the "Off Topic" forum?
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Postby d pickup » Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:43 am

MD (1)
This runner couldn’t sprint or go on long
middle distance was where he did belong
he could mix with the throng
prolong til the last furlong
then whoosh, he was off, oh he was strong

MD (2)
There was this great runner named Kipketer
how he ran though not as fast as a cheetah
the record 3 times
tho' beaten sometimes
raise glasses, to this champ, who's got my margarita?!

MD (3)
This man Wilson he was hardly ever beat
and over 2 laps he was especially fleet
broke records in a heat
to watch him was a treat
a crowd unseater, for he flowed, oh so neat
d pickup 01nov09
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Postby d pickup » Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:24 am

There was this athletics follower named Patriot
made some sad he was their compatriot
for he used not well the work co*k
not enough to be put him in the dock
but had a warning, 'out of order', we don't want a word riot.

There was this not-so-young man named Treacher
Who was not content to sit and watch on a bleacher
had excelled at his age
he's on the Records page
and on the sport, could write at length, a teacher and a preacher
of Patriot's co*k, said 'out of order', but not with it an impeacher.

Paula Jane Radcliffe
had an ok midriff
but until adding, to her world record,
an Olympic gold, she’ll feel discord

Baron Sebastian Newbold Coe KBE
who ran world records and had a career as an MP
avoided Stephen Michael James Ovett his rival foe
but might know or not what to avoid so the ‘12 Olympics flow

Usain St. Leo Bolt
gave sprinting records a jolt
so was he really struck by lightening
and be again? - for other runners frightening

Distance running was this young man’s forte
in training he’d make many a long sortie
he didn’t have top pace
but won many a race
with long bursts, and relaxing, played pianoforte

Distance running has a full spectrum of age
from youngsters to those near their dotage
and can be done with much grace
recreationalists enjoy each race
but some stars go through pain, mental agony, even rage
d pickup 02nov09
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Postby fangio » Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:33 pm

How about

A not so young runner, called Tony
Came over all whiney and moany
Masters put in the dock
But he got quite a shock
When the Judge said his case was baloney

ABAC, I think what a nightmare
A committee who some say just don't care
They don't give two hoots
Their just old men in suits
Who did not get the cash and cry "not fair"

A new dawn some say it approaching
Maybe soon we'll have structures for coaching
We already have hubs
Which should help smaller clubs
Stop losing their athletes to poaching

Ovett ran a dream of a mile
And Coe the 800 with style
But my favourites McKean
Which I know is obscene
But he could box his way out of a pile

Tokyo 91 when I look back
To the 400 relay on the track
Akabusi and Regis
Redmond and don't miss
That even the white guy was R Black

I know that's he's loved cus he has fun
Doesn't win every time but he does some
Only Silver for Beijing
Would it be Gold in Berlin?
Under pressure Philips pulled out a big one
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Postby Anthony Treacher » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:31 pm

It's the minion fangio,
defender of the athletics status quo.
The BMAF case is not yet over,
Anthony could still be in the clover.
Anthony Treacher
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Postby fangio » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:56 pm


Nice try but mine's definitely the better poem.
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Postby Anthony Treacher » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:54 pm

Moderator! Moderator! Prithee heed,
my heartfelt prayer and plea.
Yon "fangio" doth break our rules,
so the matter concerneth Thee.

His last was not in verse!
Seldom on track, fangio's a tedious hack.
He will certainly get much worse.
Ban him now, so he won't ever come back!
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Postby d pickup » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:54 pm

It is good sometimes, yes, to have a choice
'definitely better' gave five a voice
Tony, Coaching, McKean, Black and Phillips
delightful, a spread, my mind it fillips
multi-pronged, we all rejoice, to Tony's court please send your invoice.

A race! A race! who's the bookie's favourite?
Pole position is Tony, erudite
rm, rm, rm, Fangio, rm, rm, next
then dp struggles to rhyme text
Oh a false start, who broke first, a need for a rewrite.

Some from Ovett, Coe, McKean, Cram do choose
but in the big line up they might well lose
to the pedigree of Elliott, Snell
sure they'd be there at the bell
but Cerutty's towel, 60s Rome, Herb's the tops of these & all crews.
dp 2nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:14 pm

This young lady ran a record marathon
so was asked to take part in a telethon
and also a radiothon
a readathon and talkathon
but said no to a sellathon, skatathon and swimathon

Marathon running has a big world stage
break that tape then you get a big wage
40,000 strides, for some, or more
brings in the ongoing factor ‘bore’
no Christie ‘tunnel, get a ‘paulalong’, in a focus-fixed cage

Marathon runners can come up against the Wall
or dehydration, so stumble, stagger, stop, stall
and an injury’s like a cliff
the end! Yes cry and sniff
but come again, heed the call, give it your all
dp 2nov09
d pickup
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Postby fangio » Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:00 pm

Anthony now that is better
Your inner muse try not to fetter
Pour forth the words each rhyming pair
(It leaves less time your views to air)
Its better that we see you rhyme
Than witter at us all the time
About some court case you have brought
Claiming you were overwraught
By the position of a note or border
The Judge was right you're out of order.
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Postby d pickup » Tue Nov 03, 2009 12:33 pm

st ch
There was this young man steeplechased
and to excel went to Kenya there based
he ran round a hill
felt fit for the kill
to the champs, fell in the water, and was outpaced

There was this man named Patriot
who with us was an athletics compatriot
and Paula might agree
and without even a fee
to take care, with bodies, words, or things could run riot
dp 3nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:06 am

high H
This young man he could sprint, had no fear
said the coach you’re for hurdles without a tear
just fractions to spare
close to hurdles he did dare
1. 2. 3 x 10. then that dip, and he’s clear
dp 4nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:24 pm

Colin Ray Jackson CBE
Welsh, with Jamacian, Maroon, Taino & Scottish ancestry
with dance, sprinting and especially hurdling was exceptional
and now as a commentator and coach needs to be eruditional

this young man in his eyes gave no hint
that he had stamina and he could sprint
but in fact he had both
was committed took the oath
how he trained, did his stints, victory time eyes did glint
dp 5nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:00 pm

this man was not good at running but could walk fast
racing started steadily though not the back and last
opponents were dropped
some disqualified, stopped
onto the track, a final burst, the gold tape passed
dp 6nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:59 pm

This man could jump high as a door
did a winter’s hard training ‘I’ll jump more’
came along the major meet
all the pressure and the heat
we heard a roar, his muscle tore, he didn’t soar.

In high jumping’s past we saw eastern cut off and western roll
scissors for kids and the straddle gave much World Record toll
now all do Fosbury flop
into foam mats they back-neck drop
2.10 metres for women’s proving no easy stroll.
dp 7nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:40 pm

Men doing high jump can clear a tall door
with a pole they can clear so very much more
the ladies over a bus
the men that & plus
run up fast, bend that pole, then just soar and soar

Pole Vault Progress
eighteen hundred and forty nine
the pole vault record at that time
by Francis Temple, GBR
three metres fifteen height, not far
(up, not going for a long prance
so what's the record for distance?
twenty one point one metres leap
by Bart Helmholt, Hurdegaryp)
while back to height, in modern times
up, up, up where the church bell chimes
one hundred and sixty years on
almost like shot from a cannon
no pole of ash or bamboo now
as technology gives the how
via aluminium and with steel
not re-inventing say the wheel
but there is use of fibreglass
that's for the champs to get their brass
with carbon fiber, called CF
they go so high you hold your breath
Serhiy Nazarovych Bubka
Ukrainian & rhymes with hubka*
did six point fifteen metres (in)
thirty five records then did win
back in the nineties, that's still top
others 6 metres club then stop
Yelena Isinbaeva
with middle name Gadzhievna
pushes forth the record distaff
often wrapped with a flag not scarf
five point six metres done so far
says she'll up more the rattling bar.
* rare surname; the only rhyming found
dp 8nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:04 pm

Long jumpers jump a long way, just like versing on this line
like right across your rich aunt’s lounge where she does have you dine
so pace it out, nose-bang the wall, before stride metres nine

It’s quick, run fast, take off, the flight, the landing it is done
remarkable?!, and then they’re glum or dervish think they’ve won
this ‘always jumped thro’ history’s’ complex, not simple, c’mon

no world class sprint, the run requires, but measured, controlled speed
how big a run, how many strides, a right spot land the need
the final pace, on the board’s front, don’t slow, so glory deed

not always is that board hit well for reasons different
whether the wind, their carefulness, or them not coherent
so missed the board, well short, in front, a foul, a clay rib dent

At take off they push forward, up, like cake, there’s the right mix
the air flight tricks of cycle, hang, ensures the landing’s fix
the legs well forward, don’t sit back, up forward, a phoenix

So concentrate when they perform, that vital second blinks;
oh gravity, how far they’ll jump when Moon we have uplinks
sixth g is there, they’ll wear spacesuits, but still I guess high-jinks
dp 9nov09

Robert "Bob" Beamon
on 18 October 1968 Mexico City did something uncommon
adding not 9, 3, 4, 3, 3, 1 cms, as since ’Jesse’
but 55, yes 55, and born in NY, not Tennessee
dp 9nov90
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:03 pm

This not so young man did triple jump
the previous season showed no gold, a slump
but a winter with bounding weight
though was now aged twenty eight
but didn’t stall, landed the record, with a smooth bump

Jonathan David Edwards, CBE
flying like a frisbee between stinging the ground like a bee
record-added 31cms in one day
7,300xs faster than previous champs reaped their 10cm hay.
dp 10nov09
d pickup
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Postby MarkC » Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:35 pm

Will the anthology be out in time for Christmas?

Can anyone find the text that was used by the BBC the night of the World Cup final in 2006 about the Olympic stadium in Berlin? I've looked for it before but never found it. It may be that the occasion gave it extra impact, but I remember it being quite good.
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Postby d pickup » Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:56 am

MarcC said ‘Will the anthology be out in time for Christmas?‘

Not this Christmassy for MarcC
Athletics poems aren't too much around
while cricket, boxing ones they do abound
they hit each other, or they hit a ball
we hit the end tape, even push-race fall
they have their innings and they have their rounds
we circle, run round, and have leaps and bounds
they take much time, tho' knock outs can be quick
we've marathons, but death quick: relay stick
they've long been done, either England or Greece
us, Olympics, doesn't guarantee peace
The pressure times when in 2 0 1 2
might be a time for my book to be due
rest from the pressure by a shady brook
indulge in poems, reading there my book.
dp 10nov09

An Athletics Poem Anthology
Should there be issued one on track and field
will there be demand to which I should yield
in the year Olympic, the month July
fans & athletes rest bodies, not the eye
for missing some training won't mean you'll die
a pause also from racing, and just lie
in flowered lush meadows with a poetry book
or somewhere conducive, a cosy nook
by reading verses, perhaps be inspired
with Gold aspirations that's what's required
so Pavey, Farah, Ennis and Meadows
do change the tempo, retreat to shadows
Dobriskey, Idowu, too find a field
and there to the words you will surely yield.
dp 10nov09

Male Athlete of the Year
Male athlete of the year
of the prize that’s so dear

will it be fixed with a bolt
by himself, on his chest, the mere colt

or hung on a house rail uh
By Kenenisa Bekele

or found tied loose round his son’s neck next day
by injury-hit, but still a hit, Tyson Gay

or magnetic fixed high on the frig/cooker
by aussie leap high down under Steve Hooker

or be a show piece in a delicatessen
thrown skilfully there by Andreas Thorkildsen
dp 11nov09

There was this man did the shot
he was big, had to be to be hot
tho’ the circle was small
he had to think tall
he’d swirl or glide, speed up explode, so make a far off divot
dp 11nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:50 am

There was this long-armed man he threw the discus
round and round, must keep focussed, mix slip and viscus
placing feet just right
then apply great might
very complex, what went wrong, to his coach to then discuss
dp 12nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Fri Nov 13, 2009 11:34 am

A link with ballet the hammer they threw
oh what strength, delicate footwork you can view
4 times toe-heel ever fast
hang on til the very last
out of the cage, up up away, hope it doesn’t go askew.
dp 13nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Sat Nov 14, 2009 11:47 am

There was this man did a javelin throw far
90 metres was for him the bar
but the wind and wrong point
and the run up out of joint
could cause a mess, a foul or dip, a fail for our star

Javelin throwers send their weapons the most
so to them I must give a special toast
near 100 metres out gives the ground a jolt
doing the distance much faster than Usain Bolt
they’ve called the next thrower before he’s even reached the post
dp 14nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Sun Nov 15, 2009 1:43 pm

Female athlete of the year
It’s up for grabs, the female one
the athlete of the year 09

there’s only one who does a run, one lapper Sanya, USA


another jumps, just body might
so many tries WR height
she gives it fear, poor rattling bar

another putts and we make clear
improved her PB ev’ry year
from ‘99 to now 09

last on the list the youngest one
still on the up, in Berlin won
her 1st world record on that day
dp 15nov09

hep 1
There was this young lady did 7 not 1 event
with her training she was indeed very fervent
but the load got too much
and she just lost her touch
oh what venting, became insolvent, now in a convent

hep 2
Dame Mary Peters
won by 10 points in Munich
from a fine German

hep 3
Denise Lewis
sung her sweet songs in Sydney
for Olympic Gold

hep 4
Kelly Sotherton
only does six hep events
the javelin plops

hep 5
Jessica Ennis
put and putt herself into
the Gold in Berlin

hep 6
Jessica Ennis
she has a fine figure, face,
smile, scores - and titles

hep 7
Ms Louise Hazel
has effervescently talked
her way to 7th
dp 15nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:00 am

deca 1
This young man could throw, jump and run
trained 10 events but he still saw it as fun
then came the comp day
very serious but also play
on the podium, golden boy, smiled at the sun

deca 2
They run, jump, throw, hurdle to complete the deca
it merits high class drama from Seneca
and a bibliotheca
but at the reception no cueca+
tho’ we agree, your images, efforts, be in a pinacotheca*
+ S Am dance
* place for keeping/exhibiting pictures/other works of art

deca 3
Francis Morgan Oyodélé Thompson has a very long name
and was, even is, a celebrity, with considerable worthy fame
he’s got a CBE
he didn’t get it free
did 10 events, if he’d done 7, he might have become a Dame

deca 4
Dean Macey will say, tho’ I’m not sure, ‘it’s a body wrecker’
so don’t consider this even if you’re a two-decker
there’s two yes, that’s non-stop days
but 10, 1 event, then another, always
on and on, just non-stop, peck, peck, peck, woodpecker

deca 5
Dean Macey gets a second chance
as with so many injuries that deca prance
he’s gone for an easy sport,
tho in crashes they get caught
bobsleighing, with the snow, a fast sort of dance

deca 5
‘the world’s greatest athlete’ has to win the decathlon
and after a whole day’s work he’s only got to epsilon
between events sits with hat
a 10-gallon one stops the splat
of the rain, on his brain, how he must train, no stroll on

deca 6
Roman Šebrle with his 9 0 2 6
in the Big Nine League this 10-part mix
alone in that league
where there’s lots of fatigue
has to run, throw and jump, what a matrix

deca 7
Bryan Ezra Tsumoru Clay
has won World and Olympic Titles but I have to say
there’s injuries that he might not avoid, or may
so getting or not another Title double-day

deca 8
the small Czech Rep fills
the top 5 deca list slots
with their 2 great stars

deca 9
9 events in 2 days done so just one to go
by this time, bar the shouting, the end of the show
so it’s often a plod
and is seen as a sod
by these giants, who’ve run, thrown, jumped, 4 laps done slow.

deca 10
The decathlon is the hardest event
so below parr one event don’t lament
2 days concentrate
hold back the frustrate
of little glitches, weather woes, a body ailment

Deca 11 or Elevenses and hendecagon* time
I’m in my seat, in the stands for all the event
some would say that I and the deca athletes are bent
but their special, every one
I’ll give each one a bun
I’ve done my 10, no sugar thanks, I don’t ask for a cent.
* 11 re 11-sided, 11-angled geometrical plane figure
dp 16nov09
d pickup
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Postby d pickup » Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:03 am

The Zevenheuvelenloop 15k road race

The "Baby Faced Destroyer" strikes again
Tirunesh Dibaba a record her gain
this 26 seconds chop that she gave
for 15k road, that’s no little shave

A young 24 and weight 44
just 1 55, more records I’m sure
in seasons to come, on track and on road
no fear of the front, that way she has showed
dp 16nov09
d pickup
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